FORGIVENESS at the speed of god's mercy

 
  • How to forgive yourself?
  • You can forgive and: 
    • 1. forget immediately
    • 2. take time to forget
    • 3. never forget.
  • Sin or guilt haunting us?
  • Wahshi bin harb r.a (a slave of Jubayr ibn Mut'im who killed Hamza ibn ‘Abd al-Muttalib, Rasulullah’s  uncle).
  • Nabi forgiven him but not forgotten (told Wahshi if he can hide his face from him).
    • 1. CONFRONT YOUR GUILT.
  • "قُلۡ يٰعِبَادِىَ الَّذِيۡنَ اَسۡرَفُوۡا عَلٰٓى اَنۡفُسِهِمۡ لَا تَقۡنَطُوۡا مِنۡ رَّحۡمَةِ اللّٰهِ ؕ اِنَّ اللّٰهَ يَغۡفِرُ الذُّنُوۡبَ جَمِيۡعًا ؕ اِنَّهٗ هُوَ الۡغَفُوۡرُ الرَّحِيۡمُ" "Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful." [39:53, Az-Zumar]
  • Accept your mistakes, give time to heal.
  • "إِنَّهُ يَعْلَمُ الْجَهْرَ وَمَا يَخْفَىٰ" "He knows what is declared and what is hidden." [87:7, Al-A’la].
  • "ثُمَّ أَنزَلَ عَلَيْكُم مِّن بَعْدِ الْغَمِّ أَمَنَةً نُّعَاسًا يَغْشَىٰ طَائِفَةً مِّنكُمْ وَطَائِفَةٌ قَدْ أَهَمَّتْهُمْ أَنفُسُهُمْ يَظُنُّونَ بِاللَّهِ غَيْرَ الْحَقِّ ظَنَّ الْجَاهِلِيَّةِ يَقُولُونَ هَل لَّنَا مِنَ الْأَمْرِ مِن شَيْءٍ قُلْ إِنَّ الْأَمْرَ كُلَّهُ لِلَّهِ يُخْفُونَ فِي أَنفُسِهِم مَّا لَا يُبْدُونَ لَكَ يَقُولُونَ لَوْ كَانَ لَنَا مِنَ الْأَمْرِ شَيْءٌ مَّا قُتِلْنَا هَاهُنَا قُل لَّوْ كُنتُمْ فِي بُيُوتِكُمْ لَبَرَزَ الَّذِينَ كُتِبَ عَلَيْهِمُ الْقَتْلُ إِلَىٰ مَضَاجِعِهِمْ وَلِيَبْتَلِيَ اللَّهُ مَا فِي صُدُورِكُمْ وَلِيُمَحِّصَ مَا فِي قُلُوبِكُمْ وَاللَّهُ عَلِيمٌ بِذَاتِ الصُّدُورِ" "Then after distress, He sent down upon you security [in the form of] drowsiness, overcoming a faction of you, while another faction worried about themselves, thinking of Allah other than the truth - the thought of ignorance, saying, "Is there anything for us [to have done] in this matter?" Say, "Indeed, the matter belongs completely to Allah ." They conceal within themselves what they will not reveal to you. They say, "If there was anything we could have done in the matter, some of us would not have been killed right here." Say, "Even if you had been inside your houses, those decreed to be killed would have come out to their death beds." [It was] so that Allah might test what is in your breasts and purify what is in your hearts. And Allah is Knowing of that within the breasts." [3:154, Ali-Imran].
  • May we be granted Taufiq (guidance) to practice Hidayah (guidance).
  • Every mankind to be tested and remember Allah.
  • "وَسۡـئَلۡهُمۡ عَنِ الۡـقَرۡيَةِ الَّتِىۡ كَانَتۡ حَاضِرَةَ الۡبَحۡرِۘ اِذۡ يَعۡدُوۡنَ فِى السَّبۡتِ اِذۡ تَاۡتِيۡهِمۡ حِيۡتَانُهُمۡ يَوۡمَ سَبۡتِهِمۡ شُرَّعًا وَّيَوۡمَ لَا يَسۡبِتُوۡنَ ۙ لَا تَاۡتِيۡهِمۡ ۛۚ كَذٰلِكَ ۛۚ نَبۡلُوۡهُمۡ بِمَا كَانُوۡا يَفۡسُقُوۡنَ" "And We divided them throughout the earth into nations. Of them some were righteous, and of them some were otherwise. And We tested them with good [times] and bad that perhaps they would return [to obedience]." [7:168, Al-A’raf].
  • Prosperity and adversity are tests.
    • 2. LOOK FOR POSITIVE ENVIRONMENT.
  • You can be a muslim but also can turn to be suicidal. (not just about no iman).
  • To battle depression, turn to Allah, but also seek proper help.
  • Seek and be in an environment that promotes positive thinking.
  • Direct: counselling, talk to someone, etc.
  • Indirect: not being alone, keep yourself occupied, being in a positive company of people.
  • If you’re not facing any, be the support network for those in need.
    • 3. SEEK CONSTANT HELP FROM ALLAH.

 

  • Everybody hurts.
  • You got hurt or you hurt people evidently or not.
  • Do not take offence.
  • Maybe someone has something against you, doing it on purpose, just to wrong you.
  • Feeling hard done?
  • What stops us from forgiving:
    • 1. They need to know we’re angry.
    • 2. They did not apologise to us.
    • 3. We were nice to them but they disappoint us.
    • 4. They hurt us too much.
    • 5. It was unfair, we need to get even.
    • 6. They repeatedly break our heart.
  • 1. "الَّذِينَ يُنفِقُونَ فِي السَّرَّاء وَالضَّرَّاء وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ وَاللّهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ" "Those who spend in [the] ease and (in) the hardship and those who restrain the anger and those who pardon [from] the people - and Allah loves the good-doers." [3:134, Ali-Imran].
  • Suppress your anger.
  • 2. Story of Prophet PBUH and Taif (lost a lot of close confidants, physically and mentally hurt). After being rejected and hurt, Rasulullah still doesn’t want the curse to bestow upon them.
  • 3. "وَلَا يَأْتَلِ أُولُو الْفَضْلِ مِنكُمْ وَالسَّعَةِ أَن يُؤْتُوا أُولِي الْقُرْبَىٰ وَالْمَسَاكِيوَالْمُهَاجِرِينَ فِي سَبِيلِ اللَّهِ وَلْيَعْفُوا وَلْيَصْفَحُوا أَلَا تُحِبُّونَ أَن يَغْفِرَ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ". "And not let swear those of virtue among you and the amplitude of means that they give (to) the near of kin, and the needy and the emigrants in (the) way (of) Allah. And let them pardon and let them overlook. (Do) not you like that Allah should forgive you? And Allah (is) Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." [24:22, Al-Nour]
  • 4. Story of Bilal ibn Rabah and Abu Dhar al-Ghifari. Abu Dhar's saying about Bilal a foreign servant despite himself being an arab, whose decision should be taken more seriously. Prophet PBUH upon knowing about it, express his unhappiness as it shows ignorance in that statement. Abu Dhar went to Bilal and ask him to step on his head and crush it. But Bilal says "the face of Abu Dhar deserves to be kissed instead of trodden upon". (How much he was hurt, he still treat him in the best way).
  • 5. Prophet was dealt with harshly by the Quraish (family members prosecuted, etc), in Madina he felt utter heartache, for what's happening in Makkah. He returns to Makkah and sees those people who have wronged him, he says that he's not punishing them".
  • 6. People who kept apologising and repeating their mistakes, seems to not be sincere. So should Allah say the same thing towards us for all our apologies and mistakes?
  • Forgiveness is a gift from Allah. "I heard the Messenger of Allah (SWT) say: Allah the Almighty said: O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it." [Hadith Qudsi 34]. 
  • To forgive others is doing ourselves a favour not for others. Allah will grant rewards to the forgiver.

 

  • Whatever mistakes you did, to Allah or anyone, you expect an immediate forgiveness. So why are we taking too much time to forgive other?
  • To mend or heal ourselves.
  • Let go of all the negativity.
  • Your past: a learning experience, not an everlasting punishment. It's not meant to hold you back. Take it as an opportunity for your growth and maturity.
  • You can't change the past, no point in getting angry for whatever had happened. Perhaps, it's a blessing in disguise.
  • Work on the future for a better ending.
  • Broken relationship and promises: at that time, we don't know what's going to happen in future, we genuinely wanted to give it to them at that point.
  • Life is about what you give not just receiving.
  • Your past doesn't define you.
  • The gift of forgiveness: To clear the mind, purify the heart, cleanse the soul.
  • People might have misunderstood our intentions to how they sees it.
  • It can end up with self blame and get you stuck in the past.
  • Steps to self forgiveness: 
    • 1. Awareness
    • 2. Reflection
    • 3. Love
    • 4. Acceptance
    • 5. Hope
  • 1. Can't be in denial. Aware of your struggles, etc.
  • 2. Think about what has gone wrong and the lessons from it.
  • 3. Learn to love ourselves.
  • 4. Then you can accept who you are and your past.
  • 5. Hope for forgiveness and to give forgiveness.
  • "وَمَا خَلَقْنَا السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضَ وَمَا بَيْنَهُمَا إِلَّا بِالْحَقِّ وَإِنَّ السَّاعَةَ لَآتِيَةٌ فَاصْفَحِ الصَّفْحَ الْجَمِيلَ" "We created not the heavens, the earth, and all between them, but for just ends. And the Hour is surely coming (when this will be manifest). So overlook (any human faults) with gracious forgiveness." [15:85, Al-Hijr].
  • Forgive people to the extend others (if knows it) will be surprised at how you can forgive that person; ultimate forgiveness.
  • From the cell to the throne: Disowned, dumped, rejected. Loneliness, cast aside. Undervalued, overlooked. Betrayed, accused. Forgotten, under appreciated.
  • Phrases we go through:
  • RAW: Inexperienced, gullible, highly optimistic, ignorant.
  • SURPRISED: By betrayals, broken promises, mistrust, disappointments.
  • HURT: Digesting all the pain: mentally, emotionally, spiritually.
  • ENLIGHTENMENT: Learned your lessons. (Time needed to realise depends on individual).
  • SPIRITUAL MATURITY: Grow better, stronger, calmer, more persevering, more enduring.
  • Work on gaining new knowledge (intellect growth), Spending quality time with your loved ones (emotional well being), Building your relationship with God (spiritual/inner peace), Setting your goals and targets for the future (have new ambition).
  • "يٰۤـاَيُّهَا الَّذِيۡنَ اٰمَنُوۡا قَاتِلُوا الَّذِيۡنَ يَلُوۡنَكُمۡ مِّنَ الۡكُفَّارِ وَلۡيَجِدُوۡا فِيۡكُمۡ غِلۡظَةً  ؕ وَاعۡلَمُوۡاۤ اَنَّ اللّٰهَ مَعَ الۡمُتَّقِيۡنَ" "Believers! Fight against the unbelievers who live around you;and let them find in you sternness. Know that Allah is with the God-fearing." [9:126, At-Tawbah]

 

  • You can't forget certain things does it mean you have not forgotten? Depending on the severity of the issue, to forget can be impossible but In shaa Allah we have forgiven.
  • At times, remembering some things can be good, so we can learn and not repeat it.
  • Do not scratch your wound, if not when it's about to dry up, it'll bleed again. It'll heal by itself if we leave it alone.
  • If people keep reminding you of your past mistakes? As long as you know you have moved on, repented, let it be. You can't stop people from digging the past, but we can control how we react (Allah is the only entity that matters).
  • Never say " I'll never be that guy", but instead pray for them to be led to the proper path. We will never know we won't be in his position one day.
  • If we keep forgiving the same people again and again, does it mean we don't love ourself? That's the best way to show self love, by forgiving people especially in the most difficult situation. (In hope they'll change).
  • Be wise, don't just give them the trust wholly again, let them gain your trust slowly as time past.
  • But depends if it tortures you emotionally or mentally, etc. You can forgive them but not give them the trust again. (eg, broken relationship).
  • What if you ask for forgiveness but they won't forgive you? "The one who's asking for forgiveness is stronger than the one who forgives".
  • Allah SWT knows best. By looking at situation, if they shows no sign of forgiving, seek forgiveness for them.
  • Asking forgiveness in any way or through other means? For a start, a great help. But best to take it face to face.
  • How to seek forgiveness from people who have passed? Life is short. No way we can bring them back. When you thought to seek forgiveness from them in future but time doesn't permits, then seek from Allah. And, make prayers for them to grant them forgiveness, ease in the barzakh, etc.
  • Channel your forgiveness through Allah SWT or assist in every possible way to their family members.
  • What makes people confirmed a dweller of paradise? Every night, tell yourself that you have forgiven everyone who have hurt you intentionally or unknowingly.
  • "O Allah, please help me forgive."

 

THE DEVIL SAID TO GOD "I SHALL CONTINUE TO LEAD THY SERVANTS ASTRAY AS LONG AS THEIR SPIRITS ARE IN THEIR BODIES"

AND GOD REPLIED "(THEN) I SHALL CONTINUE TO PARDON THEM AS LONG AS THEY ASK FOR MY FORGIVENESS"

 
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